hands, friendship, friends-2847508.jpg

We Can All Benefit From Parenting Skills & Support

All parents—high income, low income, mandated and non–mandated—can benefit from evidence-based parenting education. Parents who have attended classes and learned effective discipline and parenting techniques report having children with higher grades, fewer behavior problems, less substance abuse issues, better mental health and greater social competence.

John Geldhoff, an Oregon University assistant professor of behavioral and health science

Parenting Is Generational…And That’s a Problem

You’ve heard it before, kids don’t come with manuals. However, parenting has generational roots-meaning today’s parents are likely using some of the parenting methods used by previous generations. Often this happens unconsciously; we are simply relying on what is familiar. Afterall, many of us became very familiar with our parents’ moods, reactions, rules and expectations, and learned how to navigate our worlds (typically from birth to 18) relying on this knowledge. In addition, it’s natural to model what we’ve observed through all those years: (mannerisms, communication style, coping mechanisms, healthy and unhealthy parenting tools). This is often true, even for parents who vowed to “parent differently” than their parents. Sometimes, we simply can’t help but fall back into those familiar patterns that guided us through our most formative years.

At the same time, we’ve experienced a significant shift in generational parenting. Here’s why:

  • Unlike generations in the past, many families no longer live in close proximity to one another. Sure, we connect on social media or gather in-person from time to time, but there’s plenty of separation to sever the modeling and daily support. In addition to the separation of extended famlilies, we’re also separated from community. We’re also no longer a tight-nit, know-your-neighbors society.
  • Recent generations have seen additional changes, including:
    • A major increase in dual working families, single-parent homes and blended families. Families simply don’t look, or act, the same as they did in the 50s. Parenting tools need to reflect these changes.
    • With the rise of these dual-working and single households, many parents quickly became overloaded, stressed and even ill-equipped for the change, leaving little time to pass on valuable life skills. Some of those skills that were passed on, simply weren’t the best as family dynamics continued to evolve.
    • The last few generations have experienced massive shifts. Technology is a prime example. We connect and communicate differently. News and information (including inaccurate information) is available 24/7 and extends the globe. Our children have access to strangers and content that parents can’t always control. In addition, societal views have changed dramtically, including a call for increased diversity and equality, a rise in global awareness, and serious new expectations on how boys and girls should be raised to view and respect one another. Life is very different today, and our kids need to be prepared.
    • Last, we have extended research that sheds a light on the true impact of parenting over generations. We now have solid evidence to shed light on what parenting skills, traits and tools will help mold our babies into happy, healthy, self-sufficient adults. We finally have access to the most effective parenting manual possible Who wouldn’t want to take advantage of this opportunity?

What precedent do you want to set for your children and their children? What foundation do you want to lay? And are you equipped to help your child properly navigate the societal shifts of today’s world?

We ARE the role models:

Parents are role models. As noted above, whether we like it or not, we tend to model what we know. Children are sponges, mimics, and silent observers, yes–they even spy on us. That is how they learn. So whatever it is you’re modeling (from what you eat, to what you say and how you say it, how you interact with others including your co-parent and your children, and how you treat yourself) your kids are noticing all of it! Are you satisfied with your model? If you’re like many of us, you’re probably considering a few habits that are less than desirable. Don’t worry, you are not alone!

Perhaps, a more helpful question to ask: are your children exhibiting behaviors that may be reflective of your own? Yelling during fights, for example? Losing their patience quickly?

It’s worth repeating, we all have moments we regret, even parenting coaches! But if you want to improve your child’s behavior, or simply want to ensure the best outcome for your future adult, the right parenting tools will help!

Powerful Positive Parenting Bonus: Because parents are models, a good parenting program should include supportive healthy-living tools for you– (not as mom, dad or another parental role) but as an individual. You’ll be gaining the skills first!

We are struggling:

We were a stressed out, overloaded, anxious society before the pandemic, and sadly, studies continue to show our mental health has continued to suffer. Worse, our children are showing significant increases in depression, anxiety and even suicide rates, as young as 10 years old. For the sake of our health, and our kids’ health, we can all benefit from any knowledge and support related to mental and emotional health.

Remember, our kids model our reactions. This includes our coping skills. If we’re stressed out or struggling, it’s very likely they will be too. Our kids are very good at sensing our feelings and moods, even before we do. And it’s not just our actions that impact our kids, it’s the overall atmosphere in the home. Stressed, anxious, explosive homes have an energy to them, a weight. This is even true in homes where stress and anxiety comes and goes. In fact, when stress levels and thus reactions fluctuate, famliy members never know what to expect, and in some cases, this leads to children who are often on-guard just in case.

If you’re struggling in any of these areas, don’t fret. Do be proactive. Support (whether from a counselor, physician, church leader, or other professional) is available. And yes, there are many valid and valuable healthy-living programs that can reduce the negative impact of stress and overload.

Need a few more reasons to work on your personal stress level or anxiety? When we’re on overload, or struggling in general, our ability to think and act clearly and effectively is significantly diminished. Stress impacts our physical health, including our sleeping patterns (which in turn, adds more stress), as well as our ability to be empathetic and patient with our children. It impacts our ability to make decisions, problem-solve, tackle behavioral issues, and stres slows us down. The more stressed, anxious or overloaded we are, the less effective we become in almost every aspect of our life. There’s very little value to this type of stress.

Last, did you know, our kids learn how to handle stress by watching us! Talk about a stressor. And, because parenting and modeling has generational components, yep–they’re likely to pass their coping mechanisms (ours) to their children. Our stress, and how we navigate it, is so impactful to our children, Powerful Positive Parenting (along with other Achieve Life Balance programs) provides thorough stress management support and tools for parents, making it one of the most effective individual and parenting program available.

Research Has Provided Insight & Access to the Best Parenting Skills Possible

It’s worth repeating, we have the knowledge of what it takes to be an effective, affectionate parent, to raise children who have the traits and skills to be as physically, emotional and mentally prepared for adulthood. Research shows we can help our children be happy, health, successful, well-rounded individuals. On a more detailed level, the research shows these adults tend to live longer, earn more money, have healthier, long relationships, are confident, and are able to navigate stressors and problem-solve more effectively. All this is possible through you. No more feeling guilty, no more worrying if you’re doing things right, no more fear that the kids will be all right! With the proper parenting tools and support, you can do this.

One more very important note:

Being the best parent you can be, doesn’t mean you have to be a perfect parent. In fact, good parenting is often the opposite of perfect! Life isn’t about perfection. It’s about learning. It’s even about making mistakes sometimes. The best parenting is REAL parenting with the right tools and plenty of life lessons. It’s affectionate parenting. It’s patient parenting. It’s thoughtful and reflective.

Here’s to Powerful Positive Parenting, a healthy you, and a healthy family!

Positive Parenting Skills Are Extremely Valuable & Absolutely Worth It!

A good parenting class or parenting coach, particularly one that focuses on positive parenting methods, can help you gain significant insight into your child(ren)’s world. The right class can help you modify your parenting techniques, honing in on your best skills while eliminating ineffective ones.  Parenting classes can help you bring structure back into your home, improve co-parenting concerns, make discipline simple and address behavior issues. A recent study suggests there are 10 very specific factors that significantly impact a child for life, including their level of happiness, your relationship with your child and their future relationships, as well as how successful they are.  While our goal is to raise that independent, self-sufficient adult, we also want children who are comfortable in their own skin, who trust their emotions, decisions and feel capable and confident enough to take on their world—as an adult—and as a child navigating an adult world.

Powerful Positive Parenting Small-Group Workshop

Become the parent, and person, you’ve always wanted. Become a happier, healthier parent, Improve your child’s behavior, and set your family’s foundation for life in just 5-weeks, guaranteed. Work directly with Certified Family Life Educator, Susan Graham. Hurry, there are only two small groups scheduled this spring, and space is very limited.

Contact Susan